Gulf-Wars - Attack of the Clones?

George Carlin schrieb:

It's been a little while and a couple of things have happened in that time. I'd like to talk a little bit about the war in the persian gulf. Big doings in the persian gulf.

You know my favourite part of that war? It's the first war we ever had that was on every channel, plus cable. And the war got good ratings, too, didn't it? Got good ratings. Well, we like war. We like war, we're a war like people. We like war because we're good at it. And you know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country's only 200 years old and already we've had ten major wars. We average a major war every 20 years in this country, so we're good at it! And it's a good thing we are, we're not great good at anything else anymore. Can't build a decent car, can't make a tv set or a vcr worth a *****. Got no steel industry left, can't educate our young people, can't get health care to our old people, but we can bomb the shit out of your country alright!

Especially if your country is full of brown people! Oh, we like that, don't we? That's our hobby! That's our new job in the world: bombing brown people! Iraq, Panama, Grenada, Lybia... You got some brown people in your country: tell 'em to watch the ***** out! Or we'll goddamn bomb them! Well when's the last white people you can remember we bombed? Can you remember the people... Can you remember ANY white people we've ever bombed? The Germans, those are the only ones, and that's only because they were trying to cut in on our action! The wanted to dominate the world. Bullshit, that's our ***** job!

Now, we only bomb brown people. Not because they try to cut in on our action, just because they're brown. And you've probably noticed: I don't feel about that war the way we were told we were supposed to feel about that war, the way we were ordered and constructed by the United States government to feel about that war. You see, I tell ya, my mind doesn't work that way. I got that real moron thing I do, it's called thinking... And I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. I don't just roll over when I'm told to. Sad to say, most Americans just roll over on command. Not me. I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the gouvernment tells me. Nothing! Zero! No! And I don't take very seriously the media or the press in this country who in the case of the persian gulf war were nothing more than unpaid employees of the Department of Defence and who most of the time, most of the time functions kind of a unofficial public relations agency for the United States government.

So I don't listen to them, I don't really believe in my country and I gotta tell you, folks, I don't get all chocked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol [simple] minded.

Me, I look at war a little bit differently. To me, war is a lot of prick waving, ok? Simple thing, that's all it is, war is whole lot of men standing out in the field and waving their pricks at one another. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks and so they have to kill one another over the idea. That's what all this asshole chuck bullshit is all about. That's what all that adolescent macho male pestering and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about, it's called dick fear. Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate, and so they have to compete with one another to feel better about themselves and since war is the ultimate competition, basically men are killing each other in order to improve their self esteem.

You don't have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the "bigger dick foreign policy theory" at work. It sounds like this: "What, they have bigger dicks? Bomb them!" And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. It's a subconscious need to project the penis into other people's affaires. It's called "***** with people"!

So, as far as I'm concerned, that whole thing in the persian gulf was noting more than a big prick waving dick fight! In this particular case, Saddam Hussein had questioned the size of George Bush's dick. And George Bush had called a wimp for so long - wimp rhymes with limp - George has been called a wimp for so long that he has to act down his manhood fantasies by other's children to die.

Even the name... Bush. Even the name Bush is related to the genitals without being the genitals. A bush is a sort of passive secondary sex characteristic. Now, if this man's name had been George Boner [Ständer]... Well, he might have felt a little bit better about himself and we wouldn't had any trouble over there in the first place.

This whole country has a manhood problem. Big manhood problem in the USA. You can tell from the language we use. Language always gives you away. What had we do wrong in Vietnam? We pulled out! Not a very manly thing to do, is it? When you are ***** people, you gotta stay in there and ***** them good! ***** them all the way! ***** them 'till the end! ***** them to death! Stay in there and keep ***** them until they're all dead!

We left a few women and children alive in Vietnam and we haven't felt good about ourselves since. That's why in the persian gulf George Bush had to say: "This will not be another Vietnam." He actually used these words. He said: "This time we're going all the way!" Imagine: an American president using the sexual slang of a 13 year old to describe his foreign policy! If you wanna know what happened in the persian gulf just remember the names of the two men who were running that war: Dick Cheney and Colin Powell. Somebody got fucked in the ass!

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